Why I'll Always Love Emotionally Guarded Heroines

pillow talk
Written By Theresa Christine

I’m personally a fan of a female main character (FMC) who has closed her heart off to love and who keeps her emotions behind a nearly impenetrable wall. After trauma or heartbreak in real life, we sometimes just don’t want to risk our hearts and get hurt at some point or other. Maybe we’ve even been that girl who guards her heart like her life depends on it. So in romance books, these kinds of FMCs are instantly likeable to me because we’ve all been there at some point. And let’s be real—there’s something deliciously satisfying about seeing her struggle with vulnerability and emotional honesty, especially when the MMC comes along and loves her like it’s as easy as breathing.

There’s always a place for FMCs who wear their hearts on their sleeve and are ready to jump headfirst into love, but emotionally guarded heroines are my all-time favorite to read and my favorite to write. Give me a FMC who insists everything is fine even when deep down it’s not, who keeps most people at arm’s length, and who would rather do everything themselves instead of ask someone for help. These kinds of characters resonate so deeply with readers because love requires vulnerability, and it’s a treat to see that transformation from someone hiding behind their walls to someone laying down their defenses. Here’s why I love this type of unsung heroine in romance novels.

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Emotional Walls Don’t Mean Someone is Uncaring

Something I always consider in romance books is what a character says vs. what they say or do vs. what they’re thinking. Honestly, these don’t always match up. So when a characters says, “I’m fine,” I hardly ever take that at face value, because deep down it is likely anything but “fine.” This is where all that juicy internal and external conflict can come to a head, forcing a character to say they’re okay when internally they’re falling apart.

I personally love that juxtaposition. Characters who have emotional walls aren’t cold and uncaring, they’re ultimately just trying to protect their feelings and/or the feelings of others. This might show up in different ways:

  • they use humor as a defense mechanism

  • they value their independence to an extreme

  • they struggle asking for help (Daisy in In a Desert Daze is veeery guilty of this)

  • they deflect during vulnerable moments

At first glance, they may seem distant and unfeeling, but the more we get to know these characters, the more we see that behind all those emotional walls is a person who feels very deeply.

Why I Relate to Emotionally Guarded Heroine Characters

Perfect characters are boring—yeah, I said it! While readers relate to characters they admire, they more strongly relate to characters they recognize, even if what they relate to is a flaw. So I suppose there is some part of me that sees emotionally guarded heroine romance books and sees a part of myself in them.

While I’m happily married and in my 30s now, it was a journey to get here. I’m definitely an emotional softie on the inside, and it’s just not the easiest world when you’re in your young 20s, have a lot of love to give, and have to navigate the dating world (plus you’re busy figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life—it’s a lot!). After a serious heartbreak or two, you try to make your feelings smaller so that an inevitable heartbreak won’t hurt so much. You’re more cautious when you meet someone new. You play the fun, carefree girl so well that even if someone disappoints you, you become even more fun and more carefree because nothing can bring you down!

(Not that I’m speaking from experience here…)

You can see why emotionally guarded FMCs are so endearing to me, though. And on some level, I think we can all relate to wanting to be self-reliant, not wanting to burden others, and having concerns over how vulnerable we really want to be in any given moment. It’s what makes us identify with a main character and root for them to have their HEA—and when that Happy Ever After, it is all the more sweeter.

Those Emotional Walls Makes the Best Romantic Story Arcs

The characters we get to know at the beginning of the book are, hopefully, not the same characters we see at the end of the book. It’s the most satisfying to see the two love interests go through a transformation before their HEA. It’s not that they have to change who they are or that they need to be “fixed”—but they do need to overcome obstacles, both externally and internally, in order to be together.

For an emotionally guarded heroine book, the FMC might:

  • Finally learn how to trust - Yes, in love, but also in other aspects of her life. Ms. Independent may finally let herself accept help and realize that she can’t do everything on her own, nor does she want to.

  • Allow herself to be loved by someone who is crazy about her - Rather than run and hide when someone amazing comes along, she is able to accept the love she finally knows she deserves.

  • Acknowledge that she’s worthy of love and care - Love doesn’t have to be earned by being useful, successful, or self-sacrificing. The FMC discovers she doesn’t have to be perfect or carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

  • Take more emotional risks - Admitting to yourself what you want requires immense vulnerability. By the end of the story, the heroine is willing to risk heartbreak for her chance at true happiness.

Why I Write Emotionally Guarded Heroine Books

I love writing characters with complicated, unexpected layers, so emotionally guarded characters are some of my faves to write. It opens up the opportunity for so much delicious tension when the character’s deep-down desires are at war with how she’s learned to act. Plus, that false belief that a character has at the start of the book gets debunked, and it makes the emotional and romantic arc of the book supremely satisfying.

External conflict is necessary in books, but it’s those internal, emotional barriers that I think can be so messy and fun to read and write. June from The Half of It is possibly my most guarded of all the FMCs I’ve written. She has only ever been let down by people before, and the only reason she decides to meet her half sister in Ireland is because she’s looking for a career boost. But once she meets this found family of hers (and her newfound sibling’s best friend, a particularly handsome Irishman…) she has to decide if she will open up her heart.

We all want to be seen as strong and capable, but concerns that we are unlovable, will never be chosen, or could never be understood…those are very real and terrifying fears to have. That’s what makes these type of FMCs so special to me.

My Favorite Emotionally Guarded Heroines

Have I sold you on emotionally guarded heroines yet? Trust me, behind those sturdy walls and past those constant declarations that everything is just fine, you might just find your next favorite FMC. Here are some of my favorite emotionally guarded heroine romance books:

Emotionally guarded heroines matter to me because they are proof that vulnerability and strength aren’t simply opposites. These characters don’t get their HEA because they become entirely new people; instead, they get their Happy Ever After because they learn how to let others in and see the parts of their heart they have spent years—maybe even their whole lives—protecting. There’s something so special about seeing someone learn they can be loved exactly as they are, and that’s why these kinds of stories resonate so much with me and romance readers everywhere.

Theresa Christine
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